Selective Memory, or Halloweentown II

Krista Carroll

for Emilio 

Childhood living. Fever.

Reclined on the couch. Hot,

I was sweating. Even my teeth were sweating.

I think I sweated out my soul. 

Television set. Halloweentown II is playing

on the Disney channel. 

The witches are in a cottage. 

Interior shot: mélange of objects

piled into anthills, peaked steeply as firs. 

Anything anyone’s ever lost is

collected here. 

I said my biggest fear is forgetting,

and my biggest hope is that

which I neglect is cared for somewhere else. 

I have left behind lives. 

I used to lie awake in bed, 

bloated with guilt. 

Azoic things kept the score,

remembered, resented. 

Forgetting is a betrayal of that

which I loved. 

Now, I spend my nights archiving.

I reread in the morning, and live my day

in the past. 

Halloweentown II junkman, collector,

Saint Anthony for the irreligious:

I stand at your door. Let me in. 

I’ll be just a minute. I’m looking for something. 

I can’t remember now, but I’ll know it when it comes.